worship
first, before i start going crazy with this blog. I wanted to say that I went running for the very first time outside tonight and in the night time. the moon was out so i had some visibility. man was that fun. i felt so good afterwards. it was almost better then sex, almost. it was very spontaneous decision. but maybe it came from what i did tonight. tonight i went to church. so now my blog begins
i know, i know that sentence is very new to people who really know me and no who i am. i went to church. its not too big of a surprise for me knowing about a argument discussion i had with my x. i have been thinking that church will become a part of my life in the future. but it wasn't going to be my sacrifice, i would do it for my kids. ( another blog) anywoo, i was invited for the first time in my life to church by who i will now refer to as "my angel". she attends every sunday of a dinner, song, and worship. a group of friends go to her neighbors house and have discussion. it was different and interesting. very different the my experience going to a big building that had a crucifics at the tower and more then 10 people attending. it was small and different. we were on a topic about worship and how does worship happen what does it mean and how should we do it? was the setting right to be in a house and singing and discussing books? or should it be in a big congegation where different things happen and u just listen and pray? for me it shouldn't matter as long as there is a message being delivered. people coming together having their own problems in the outside world and putting it aside or expressing it, is what it should be about. another topic that was discuss was god (of course) but how is he talking to us? how can we identify him? is it from signs, music, touch, smell, pictures, people, etc.? god is leading me into a new path. he has told me by making me tired one night to go home and find out the truth about my wife. he has showed me a way that i am someone and gave me a gift of education. he has given me friends that are friends that will keep me safe. he has given me a personality that people can see that my heart is pure and open. he has given me a challenge of being a minority and that it doesn't matter how different you are its what is in the inside that matters. he has given me another life to embrace and to see the other opportunities. he has given me sin and bad things that sin does but has guided me out of it or only should me what could happen. most important and i believe this. he has given me a angel that pop in my life on purpose one night. a angel that could have went into a theatre and cleaned instead of doing a double take and coming out to talk more, then given me the strength to call her that same night instead of waiting 2 - 3 days. a angel who has fallen and is not sure of her path and not sure on her feelings. who may also need to really find herself and find that person it being god or someone or something. we all have are skeletons we all have are fears. we just need to overcome them and move and take that risk.
so much has been said and i need to pause on this.
my title is lordgrim and i am a dark soul. i have seen hell and i have seen heaven. i have sinned and i have been a saint. my feelings once was inside and locked away but now has been opened and released. i am a roaming being that looks for questions that can not be solve. a wonderer that has seen a lot in such a short life span. what is my purpose, what is my being, what is my worth? my feelings are strong and true.
what should i do?
i know, i know that sentence is very new to people who really know me and no who i am. i went to church. its not too big of a surprise for me knowing about a argument discussion i had with my x. i have been thinking that church will become a part of my life in the future. but it wasn't going to be my sacrifice, i would do it for my kids. ( another blog) anywoo, i was invited for the first time in my life to church by who i will now refer to as "my angel". she attends every sunday of a dinner, song, and worship. a group of friends go to her neighbors house and have discussion. it was different and interesting. very different the my experience going to a big building that had a crucifics at the tower and more then 10 people attending. it was small and different. we were on a topic about worship and how does worship happen what does it mean and how should we do it? was the setting right to be in a house and singing and discussing books? or should it be in a big congegation where different things happen and u just listen and pray? for me it shouldn't matter as long as there is a message being delivered. people coming together having their own problems in the outside world and putting it aside or expressing it, is what it should be about. another topic that was discuss was god (of course) but how is he talking to us? how can we identify him? is it from signs, music, touch, smell, pictures, people, etc.? god is leading me into a new path. he has told me by making me tired one night to go home and find out the truth about my wife. he has showed me a way that i am someone and gave me a gift of education. he has given me friends that are friends that will keep me safe. he has given me a personality that people can see that my heart is pure and open. he has given me a challenge of being a minority and that it doesn't matter how different you are its what is in the inside that matters. he has given me another life to embrace and to see the other opportunities. he has given me sin and bad things that sin does but has guided me out of it or only should me what could happen. most important and i believe this. he has given me a angel that pop in my life on purpose one night. a angel that could have went into a theatre and cleaned instead of doing a double take and coming out to talk more, then given me the strength to call her that same night instead of waiting 2 - 3 days. a angel who has fallen and is not sure of her path and not sure on her feelings. who may also need to really find herself and find that person it being god or someone or something. we all have are skeletons we all have are fears. we just need to overcome them and move and take that risk.
so much has been said and i need to pause on this.
my title is lordgrim and i am a dark soul. i have seen hell and i have seen heaven. i have sinned and i have been a saint. my feelings once was inside and locked away but now has been opened and released. i am a roaming being that looks for questions that can not be solve. a wonderer that has seen a lot in such a short life span. what is my purpose, what is my being, what is my worth? my feelings are strong and true.
what should i do?
posted by Justin at 10:53 PM
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