the asshole
so my handle came out today. very strange sometimes. I have this other personality that is just the badboy in me, the asshole, the prick. as lord grim I am the darkside that has fear and anger that burst out. not just a star wars thang. identifies a mood that i am in. many things can trigger this and i feel that today was being force to go somewhere did it. it was a fun trip but it presented sacrifices. those sacrifices was studio. since my teacher arrives a hour and a half late every class time my plan to go first at 1 didn't happen. the whole presenting didn't happen. why didn't he change the time of the class to better meet his needs. i'm not going to keep going on this matter. i was just happy my friend Kim could go.
another issue that is eating at me so badly is calling my friend fat. she made a negative comment about her weight and i made another one that didn't help the matter. I didn't mean it, shes not fat at all but its just one of those rules that shouldn't be broken. i'm so weak sometimes that it makes me sick. when i got home i sat down at my desk and reflected on it and did things boys don't do. i'm sure she knows i was kidding, but tonight at some odd time that scene will get in her head and she will cry and feel ugly inside. Kim, i'm very sorry once again for saying that comment. remember that you are beautiful and you will always be beautiful. feel good about yourself and don't listen to stupid comments from asshole guys.
other then that, today was a good day. i hung out with Kim and Murle to the lighting expo that murle and I had to go to. which seeing what it really was, basically it was a college fair. sucks i was hoping for it to be like a gallery or something showing lights in action. maybe that was the semenars were about. i don't know, but i don't think it was worth going all the way to cincy for. i didn't even get a tshirt. the company made the day. i have been making fun of kim for being a bad driver but now she might think that i am. yea, maybe i drive a tad fast and get close to peeps. but she can not say that we almost died. hehe. when i drove with her the first time we almost got hit I believe 3 times. :o) its kewl, i would drive with her from MD to CA if i needed to. i trust her. on a side note we have a bet going that is pretty kewl and we are going to go do something crazy. shes fun.
I borrowed a movie from her called lord of war. what a intense movie. all i can say is that guns don't kill people. people do and guns just makes it easier to feel good about yourself. everyone has the right to bear arms. for defense though, if they go to abuse then shame on them. but it was a movie that really made you think. at least he had the girl. i didn't get my dream girl.
another issue that is eating at me so badly is calling my friend fat. she made a negative comment about her weight and i made another one that didn't help the matter. I didn't mean it, shes not fat at all but its just one of those rules that shouldn't be broken. i'm so weak sometimes that it makes me sick. when i got home i sat down at my desk and reflected on it and did things boys don't do. i'm sure she knows i was kidding, but tonight at some odd time that scene will get in her head and she will cry and feel ugly inside. Kim, i'm very sorry once again for saying that comment. remember that you are beautiful and you will always be beautiful. feel good about yourself and don't listen to stupid comments from asshole guys.
other then that, today was a good day. i hung out with Kim and Murle to the lighting expo that murle and I had to go to. which seeing what it really was, basically it was a college fair. sucks i was hoping for it to be like a gallery or something showing lights in action. maybe that was the semenars were about. i don't know, but i don't think it was worth going all the way to cincy for. i didn't even get a tshirt. the company made the day. i have been making fun of kim for being a bad driver but now she might think that i am. yea, maybe i drive a tad fast and get close to peeps. but she can not say that we almost died. hehe. when i drove with her the first time we almost got hit I believe 3 times. :o) its kewl, i would drive with her from MD to CA if i needed to. i trust her. on a side note we have a bet going that is pretty kewl and we are going to go do something crazy. shes fun.
I borrowed a movie from her called lord of war. what a intense movie. all i can say is that guns don't kill people. people do and guns just makes it easier to feel good about yourself. everyone has the right to bear arms. for defense though, if they go to abuse then shame on them. but it was a movie that really made you think. at least he had the girl. i didn't get my dream girl.
posted by Justin at 10:09 PM
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