anniversary

as promis in a earlier blog, i was going to hold off for blogging until the end of the weekend and here we are. to be honest, i still don't have much to write about but i will try to make this blog fun.

i will switch it up a little and talk about today then go backwards. my last post i did today was titled 6 years. so, i should explain that today would have been a 6 year anniversary with Brea and I. this day at about this time i asked her if she wanted to be with me and start getting serious. this day is when we had are first kiss. it was a good day. we dated a couple of times and i took her to a few parties before anything was official. i wish i could remember those days. but 6 years was so long ago and only a few moments i can remember. it was great back then, are love was so fresh and so clean, sorry had to say that because i'm listening to that outcast song right now. but it was fresh, we were talking and doing so much together. we spent every waking moment together, calling each other every second of the day. calling even when we were going into the bathroom; to shower of course ;o). so what happen? what happen to those good times? i don't know, we just lost the love from one another. stop talking like we use to and stop seeing each other. statistics say that after 6 years is a cut off point when you are going to make it or not. we didn't make it i guess. Its been so rough getting her out of my mind. i do a pretty good job in playing it off to peeps but still she is back in my head. i'm not feeling at all about getting back with her, i'm just finding myself upset of what happen and just wishing that things were different. i feel so dirty today and so out of it. i didn't think it would effect me so much but i guess i was wrong. not to mention the advertisements for candy and jerwlery is not helping the matter. since tuesday is valentines day and all. how sucky it is. i'm having a hard time to adapt myself of being single. its been so long since i was and now i am again. i have to find myself bascially again and figure out what i want to do. its a bad sign when i didn't feel like doing anything at all this weekend. whats happening with me? most likely the good news about this is that i will probably forget about this date next year. so much can happen in a year. i just know that feb. 12th will always be embedded in me, even june 25th will always be embedded but maybe not as much.

this weekend, i did a couple of things that was kewl. i had a great workout with Murle on Saturday and I also played a little "geetar" with Kim. those had to be the highlight of my week. :o) besides going to a couple of stores that was the highlights of my weekend. not very eventful but really, do they need to be? I sat on my ass and watch movies and played geetar what better things could i be doing?

lets see, what else do i want to talk about? when playing geetar with kim i brought up a conversation that we talked about awhile ago, that she had something on her mind that she wasn't ready to get off her chest. i asked her if she was ready and she said not yet. i've been wondering what it is all about. my curiosity is getting the better of me. certain topics are going through my head. lol i'm sure kim is going threw a lot right now, with her trip getting closer each day. i can't speak for her or anything, but i'm sure the trip is not too much on her mind right now. its probably more of herself and her relationships with her friends and family. anywoo, i'm not going to go more into it, she can blog about her thoughts in her own blog. ;o)

so, i think i lied to myself again. i told myself that i wouldn't post another thing about brea and look what i did; i did it again.