the new beginning
shattered, crushed, striken to a weaken state i was two weeks ago. today i feel better then i have been feeling for the last couple of weeks. so many things have happen that i am almost lost in translation.
no longer with a partner, i feel somewhat in half. the connection that was once there is no longer. but i wonder if the connection was really there? maybe long ago or a couple of months ago it was, i'm not sure. i just know that if i was connected then i would have known this was going to happen. actually i think i knew one day when things were breaking down. why didn't it end before the wedding? i keep asking this question to myself. maybe i just loved the idea of a family and getting another part of my life completed. that was probably the driving force that we both had. but are lives were seperated. i was at school she was at work. i was never there because of school but she was never there because of work. she was impatient and wanted the easy fix so she turned to another..... a friend that should have been more a long time ago but wasn't. to many 'what if' was part of the conversations that they were having. so blinded i was. but whatever.... i am stronger then this and i will shed no more tears for it. this will be the last blog that i will write about this and this will be the last time that i will .....
but i don't feel nothing no more, i'm over what has happen. i shouldn't dwell on the situation, why? I wasn't at fault she was. instead of confessing or providing a solution she was weak and not committed to anything. i was used. i was changed. my beliefs and ideals went away with my relationship. a sort of sucking the life out of me happened. everyone is thankful that this happened early instead of later. imagine if a kid was involved? already it feels weird with my cat. my cat was a product of this relationship and she is mine now. no longer will she see the other person that was in our lives. thats kind of a weird feeling i suppose. someone today told me that i will talk to her again. my thoughts on that is never. but still it could be immature since my emotions are still high.
a new beginning will take place and it will be great. no matter what happen i have myself and my family and friends and that is wonderful.
no longer with a partner, i feel somewhat in half. the connection that was once there is no longer. but i wonder if the connection was really there? maybe long ago or a couple of months ago it was, i'm not sure. i just know that if i was connected then i would have known this was going to happen. actually i think i knew one day when things were breaking down. why didn't it end before the wedding? i keep asking this question to myself. maybe i just loved the idea of a family and getting another part of my life completed. that was probably the driving force that we both had. but are lives were seperated. i was at school she was at work. i was never there because of school but she was never there because of work. she was impatient and wanted the easy fix so she turned to another..... a friend that should have been more a long time ago but wasn't. to many 'what if' was part of the conversations that they were having. so blinded i was. but whatever.... i am stronger then this and i will shed no more tears for it. this will be the last blog that i will write about this and this will be the last time that i will .....
but i don't feel nothing no more, i'm over what has happen. i shouldn't dwell on the situation, why? I wasn't at fault she was. instead of confessing or providing a solution she was weak and not committed to anything. i was used. i was changed. my beliefs and ideals went away with my relationship. a sort of sucking the life out of me happened. everyone is thankful that this happened early instead of later. imagine if a kid was involved? already it feels weird with my cat. my cat was a product of this relationship and she is mine now. no longer will she see the other person that was in our lives. thats kind of a weird feeling i suppose. someone today told me that i will talk to her again. my thoughts on that is never. but still it could be immature since my emotions are still high.
a new beginning will take place and it will be great. no matter what happen i have myself and my family and friends and that is wonderful.
posted by Justin at 4:30 AM
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